Question Time: The Do’s and Don’ts of Asking your Child Questions

A question about questions… What type of questions are best to ask your child?

As parents, it is natural to ask our children a lot of questions. But does it actually help their language development?

Young children need support to develop their vocabulary, grammar, and understanding of language. Asking questions in the right way can be highly beneficial for your child’s language development. However, questions can also be a conversation stopper if we are not careful.

One of the most common errors we see parents make is overloading their child with too many questions. We have to remember that conversations and interactions should be fun and engaging! It is important to encourage two-way conversation rather than bombarding children with questions. Too many questions can feel like a test – and nobody likes a test! See below for the dos and don’ts.

The Do’s of asking your child questions:

• Try to cut down the number of questions you ask, and instead make more comments. As a guide, try to use 3 comments for each question. You may find that your child has more to say when you take the pressure off and ask fewer questions! Include a range of different word types in your comments, such as describing words, action words and naming words. For example, rather than asking your child how their banana tastes, you could comment “That banana tastes delicious, and it is very squishy too!” Our blog post about making the most of books will tell you more about balancing questions and comments during book-sharing.
• Use a variety of question types, such as choice questions (“Do you want milk or juice?”), yes or no questions (“Do you want to ride your bike?”), and WH- questions (“What is that?” “Who is at the door?” “Where is your teddy?”). 
• Use open-ended questions, because these help to keep the conversation going! Try questions like “Why do you like that one best?” and “What do you think this book is about?” Interested in more tips to help your child’s conversation skills? See our blog post about having better conversations with your child.
• Follow your child’s lead and engage their interest when asking questions. For instance, you could say “Wow, you made this with Lego! Can you tell me about it?”
• Give your child time to answer. Children may need more time to process the question and formulate a response. After you ask a question, try waiting 10 seconds for your child to respond.
• If your child can’t answer the question, answer it for them. This is a great way to teach your child new words and ideas!

The Don’ts of asking your child questions:

• Don’t ask too many questions, because this may cause your child to lose interest in the conversation. Fewer questions can help your child to think and develop their own creative ideas.
• Don’t worry if your child gets the answer wrong. Remember that your child is still developing and learning. If your child gets the answer wrong, use it as an opportunity to model the correct language. For example, “Oops! That’s not a dog, it’s a cat. Look at the cat’s long tail”. 
• Don’t ask too many ‘testing’ questions. For example, “What colour is it?”, “How many are there?”, “What letter is this?” Instead you might like to enjoy a story book or walk in the park and use more comments than questions to help your child learn language. “I can see three ducks!” “That’s the letter B”!
• Don’t ask questions that answer themselves, such as “You’re all finished, aren’t you?” These types of questions are a sure-fire way to stop the conversation! 
• Don’t ask questions that are too hard for your child. Some questions are easier to answer, and these are perfect when your child is still learning. Blank’s Levels of Questioning is a useful guide to help us use the right types of questions. You can learn more about this below. Children progress through the different levels as they grow older and develop their language skills, with Level 1 being the easiest types of questions, and Level 4 being the hardest.

 

Adapted from: Blank, M., Rose, S. A. & Berlin, L. J. (1978) The Language of Learning: The Preschool Years. Orlando: Grune & Stratton, Inc.

If your child has difficulty answering questions, get in touch with us! We would love to talk with you about how we can help your child to better understand and answer questions. Ask us below!